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Lesbian Advice Please?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Rgln, Sep 13, 2018 at 2:12 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Rgln

    Rgln Lurker

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    Okay so,
    I've loved this girl for years. We met in high school, dated, broke up because of college (but have continued to stay good friends) and now go to university in separate states (Texas and Missouri). Since we are good friends, she confides in me often. Since she's been away from her parents and in college, she's felt more open and safe to be herself and experience her bisexuality (which she hid from her parents until last month, when they found out and kicked her out).
    Anyway, while in college, she's kind of slept around. She's had sex with and made out with quite a few females in just 2 years. Now, she's convinced that instead of being bisexual, she could be 100% lesbian. So to figure it out, she wants to sleep with one of her platonic guy friends to figure out if she could be with a guy or not.
    The crazy thing is, we've been talking and deciding how we could possibly make our relationship long distance until we both graduate and can live closer to each other. We haven't made anything official, but if she sleeps with him before we do have the chance to have a relationship again, how do I move past that? Even if she doesn't sleep with him, how do I move past the fact that she's slept with so many people? It just feels wrong to me, health-wise, morally, etc. I know I'm probably just being stupid/selfish/jealous, and women shouldn't feel degraded because of their body count, but I don't know. Can anyone offer some decent advice?
     
  2. Being.
    Cheeky

    Being. A cuddly bear
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    Hi! I'm going to just try and give advice but it may not help.

    But If you two aren't exclusive currently then she can do whatever she wants, sure it hurts and you'll be jealous. But in her mind she doesn't have any permanent attachment to you yet.
     
  3. Carlita
    Creative

    Carlita Gay as a Bag of Skittles
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    Don't worry. Youre In good company. I dated my best friend and now biggest best friend today years ago when we were both coming to terms as being gay women. Almost recently now in our late thirties she is more polysexualistic in her sexual interest with women. I am not. We don't make a good match.

    What I do, though, is support her in her decision of the lifestyle she wants. I do tell her my views and morals on the issue. I am more monogamous and I don't like sleeping around if not done with someone I know and want to get to know.

    I would tell her likewise how you feel about her and your morals. If she says she understands and feels different at least you know you aren't holding back your feelings. If she says yes, I'm sure you guys can talk and see how she feels about not being with other people.
     

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