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Transgender Accepting vs Countering: How to Stop the Dysphoria?

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Crow King, Aug 21, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Crow King
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    Crow King Greenhorn
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    On this site there is obviously no shortage of those who accept their transgenderism and follow through with the process of transitioning. This thread is not for that topic, so while talking a bit about accepting it is fine, please do not use it to insist that everyone with dysphoria ought to just accept things and transition, and that this is the only possible way out.

    What I want to hear is tips and advice from anyone who has discovered they are not actually trans and mistook themselves for such and how they mistook themselves for one, those who have been met with some degree of success in countering authentic dysphoria (even if only a little), and...well, whatever tips those of you who haven't accepted it might have for those of us who would like to find a way to overcome it and live as a cis-female or cis-male.
     
    #1 Crow King, Aug 21, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
  2. Meghan17

    Meghan17 Transgender M2F
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    Greetings Crown King,

    For me I was confused to who I am for along time. I was confused whether I was CD or Transgender. That's why I talked to my Behavior Therapist to be clear my mind and help me make decisions to which direction I want to do with my life.


    Sent from my SM-T387V using Tapatalk
     
  3. Crow King
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    Crow King Greenhorn
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    Thanks for replying. If you dont mind sharing, what was something you learned from your behavior therapist that you found especially beneficial to you?
     
  4. Bornunderabadsign
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    Bornunderabadsign Transfeminine Natural Disaster
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    I haven't found anything that would provide enough relief to keep me from transitioning but I have developed some coping strategies. Some of them involve a sort of self guided meditation along with a bit of rationalizations along the lines of accepting that not every woman has the perfect body and that my identity is divorced from my physicality. That we all have things about ourselves that we don't like but that doesn't make me any less valid. Another thing I do and I think anyone with gender identity issues can do even if they decide not to transition is to allow themselves some time either in public or private to practice their gender before putting the mask back on and being the gender others believe them to be.
     
  5. RuneBeau
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    RuneBeau Dedicative Contributor
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    Along the lines of what Bornunderabadsign said about separating identity from your physical being; I would cope by putting on makeup and thinking about how I was a gay man in drag emulating a character and that what was on the outside wasn't really me. Not exactly a healthy thing to do but it helped.

    There is definitely a spectrum of discomfort/dysphoria amongst trans people and I do think those on the lower end can find relief in small subtle ways without the need for medical transition. Just as those of us with severe dysphoria transition and still have to live with remnants of unresolved dysphoria for a lifetime.
     
  6. Crow King
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    Crow King Greenhorn
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    Ffs...
    Some days I'm like, "I can't do this..."
    Some days I'm like "fuck it, I'm just going to do it"
    Some days I'm like, "I can't stand it, I have to do this"
    Some days I'm like, "Is this really me? Am I really trans?"

    Every once in a while I try to accept my "natural" gender and all it accomplishes is an intinsification of dysphoria. Even when I go for being a masculine or androgynous female it doesn't work...it's like fool's gold...but so is transitioning...but one isn't as painful as the other...fuck. I can actually live with the downstairs not being operated on and I'm naturally flat enough to not need top surgery. All I'm even lacking is the HRT. I have problems with permanence and commitment to things, especially in identity.
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 23, 2019 ---
    This actually might work...but probably only sometimes. It's still helpful though, thanks.
     
    #6 Crow King, Aug 23, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  7. RuneBeau
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    RuneBeau Dedicative Contributor
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    It definitely sounds like you're having a hard time maybe find an outlet that can also serve as experimentation like cosplay or male drag. Even just something simple like drawing on a Dorian pinstripe mustache and rocking out to their music in your room.
     

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